“Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.”
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”
“There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.”
“- 63% of all statistics are made up... including this one.”
“Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.”
“Never answer a question unless you know exactly who is asking, why it is being asked, and what will be done with the information.”
“The best way to avoid criticism is to establish a reputation for being irrational and belligerent at the slightest excuse.”
“As you gain experience, you'll realise that all logical questions are considered insubordination.”
“You're in H.R. now, it's ok to be evil.”
“Lately the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labour.”
“I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.”
E a mais legal, claro, é do Dogbert!
"Businesses used to be like Christianity; if you were faithful and obedient, you could obtain bliss in the afterlife of retirement. Now its more of a reincarnation model. If a worker learns enough in his current job, he can progess to a higher level of employment elsewhere."
Abraços e boa semana.